“But you, O God, are both tender and kind,
not easily angered, immense in love,
and you never, never quit.
So look me in the eye and show kindness,
give your servant the strength to go on,
save your dear, dear child!
Make a show of how much you love me
so the bullies who hate me will stand there slack-jawed,
As you, God, gently and powerfully
put me back on my feet.”
Psalms 86: 15-17
One of the things that we might not take into account when going into a second marriage is that even though everything seems different than the previous partner, and the future seems to shine as the “better place”, the marriage will be hard as well (and maybe even harder). When going through such a painful experience as a divorce, we might believe that the people involved suffered enough to cause them to grow and make significant changes in the way they approach marriage… in reality, that is the best case scenario (which is not very common).
On the other hand, the new marriage goes through many stages of adjustment, specially as we blend families which makes the complexity level even higher. Through those tough times the easiest thing is to fall back into old patterns of behavior, essentially the bad coping skills or bad problem resolution strategies. The word divorce might come up often through arguments… those are the moments that we need to stop and pray. Specially if you are the person without the previous marriage (it hurts so much to hear… I know). Sometimes it may feel too painful and even impossible (to deal with and even to forgive) but one characteristic of our amazing Father is that He never gives up on us even when we hurt him time and time again.
So next time remember: God never ever quits. Strive to be like God. Love your husband and your stepchildren and never give up. Even if things get hard and sometimes it seems like another divorce is right around the corner, remember how much God has forgiven you. Remember that we should love like He does. Don’t quit. Don’t brake another home, these kids are now yours and they deserve better. Be the difference, be the change, be the person who shows the love of God.
Share: Have you ever had those situations where you tumble down to past destructive patterns of behavior? Do yo have any strategies to prevent yourself from repeating the same mistakes over and over again?